JAN MOIR: This vegan Bake Off series reveals Britain’s bubbling cauldron of hatred

The mild vegan Freya Cox must have thought to herself: ‘Appearing on The Great British Bake Off? What could possibly go wrong? ‘

I polish my whisks, I show off my vegan baking skills, maybe encourage more viewers to follow the vegan route.

I want to move on with my life, maybe even become a better person, a happier person, a more fulfilled person. Above all, someone who has highlighted the terrible complications of making beautiful cakes without important ingredients like butter, eggs, milk and even honey.

For Freya is a person who believes she can alleviate animal suffering by promoting bakeries made with alternative non-dairy products on national television. All good? Not so fast, young lady! After all, this is the UK 2021.

The mild vegan Freya Cox must have thought to herself: 'Appearing on The Great British Bake Off?  What could possibly go wrong?  '

The mild vegan Freya Cox must have thought to herself: ‘Appearing on The Great British Bake Off? What could possibly go wrong? ‘

This is the place where micro-aggression bubbles and pots in the cauldron, where fanatics sweat the little things and zealots step over the middle lane in their attempt to reach the moral height.

And it can grind a girl down if she’s not careful.

Each week, Bake Off (C4) offers a technical challenge where all participants must use exactly the same ingredients. You can not replace anything with a vegan alternative, or what is the point?

In week one, the bakers had to make a malt bread, which involves eggs. Of course, Freya would not use eggs – the humble hen’s daily bounty is against her creed.

But she still made her egg-enriched bread, for she did not want to ruin the show. She knew this would happen, so every week, ‘veganized’ versions of these recipes are uploaded to her site to show that it can be done.

At the age of 19, Freya is the youngest participant in this year’s Bake Off and really honored her for coming up with a workable and sensible solution to this dilemma.

Except it didn’t work. In these times of triggering and enthusiastic offense, there can be no surrender and no compromise. Yes, even if we’re just talking about a cake.

Each week, Bake Off (C4) offers a technical challenge where all participants must use exactly the same ingredients.  You can not replace anything with a vegan alternative, or what is the point?

Each week, Bake Off (C4) offers a technical challenge where all participants must use exactly the same ingredients. You can not replace anything with a vegan alternative, or what is the point?

Animal welfare group Peta is furious at Bake Off and feels the decision to get Freya to use eggs ‘shamefully’ because it could force participants to ‘violate their ethical, religious or other principles’.

The Vegan Society stated that by welcoming a vegan baker for the first time, the show should have ensured that vegan products were used during each task. Ridiculous!

Perhaps worst of all, in cesspits on social media, other vegans taunted Freya for lack of principle, for staying on the show instead of refusing to attend.

But if she had, none of us would have learned how to make her vegan raspberry and lemon mini rolls. Judge Prue Leith considered them ‘a little hefty’ – but that’s vegan baking for you.

Poor Freya was even thrown online for riding horses as a hobby that hardcore vegans consider to be another example of horrific cruelty to animals.

Wait until these joyless extremists discover that millions of Britons are taking captive pets called ‘doggies’ into captivity every day. And that said doggies often carry collars and restrictive wires. Sometimes they are even forced to pick up sticks; is such forced labor in violation of the Canine Rights Act?

What’s wrong with everyone? What happened to common sense? Sometimes the lack of respect or acceptance of views that differ from your own is downright depressing. Everyone seems so angry all the time.

Over the last few weeks, there have been garage space fights to buy gasoline that is not initially in short supply. Protesters have glued themselves to motorways to draw attention to the lack of insulation in British homes, even though they have not bothered to insulate their own.

At the Conservative Party’s conference, Iain Duncan Smith was allegedly beaten over the head with a plastic cone and abused by five people who have since been arrested.

Once upon a time, activists who encountered politicians whose views did not merge with their own were perhaps over with a cheerful tip of the hat and a skewed recognition of conflicting beliefs. Those days are gone.

In these times of triggering and enthusiastic offense, there can be no surrender and no compromise.  Yes, even if we're just talking about a cake.

In these times of triggering and enthusiastic offense, there can be no surrender and no compromise. Yes, even if we’re just talking about a cake.

So many are so convinced of the moral superiority of their argument that debate or disagreement is now routinely replaced by furious trolling or statue-toppling rage.

All Freya Cox does is try to enlighten viewers in the mystery of vegan baking — and I’m first of all grateful for her efforts and believe that life is too short to use aquafaba with chickpeas instead of egg whites in a recipe, but willing to be persuaded otherwise.

Speaking of animal cruelty, my vegan cakes have not been suitable to put in a nose bag and fed to a horse.

We all know because ethical vegans always tell us that their lifestyle choices are about much more than just diet. It involves reducing damage where possible, which extends to both animals and the environment – but it does not appear to other vegans claiming their dissatisfaction.

On the sultana-pitted surface, it’s just about a cake in a TV show, but it’s also about so much more. And none of that is good.

Everyone needs good neighbors like Kylie

Kylie Minogue moves home to Australia after 30 years in London. Oh no! Say it’s not like that.

This is terrible news, worse than the ravens leaving the tower or the red buses getting a blue makeover. Even her local restaurant contacted to say, ‘Kylie, please don’t go.’ Which says it’s all you need to know about the pop’s good-natured princess.

Should I renew you all again with the time I met her at the local Italian delicatessen and thought she was a friend of a friend? We had a nice talk about mozzarella and it first dawned on me who she was when I got home. Having Kylie in the neighborhood was a treat; it was always encouraging to think she was there, a firefly in a jam jar on our sad streets.

At age 53, though, she has decided she wants to be near her family back home in Oz – even if it means leaving her boyfriend here. Age brings not just wisdom but clarity to know what really matters. Have a good trip, girlfriend!

Universities have given students the opportunity to get away with bad spelling and grammar because they did not want to be perceived as ‘elitist’, or should it be ‘elitist’? If the uni bosses had their will, no one would know the difference. And it would not matter if they did. Except it does.

The watchdog of higher education has said that this lax attitude towards spelling and grammar should stop, not least because it is ‘condescending’ to expect less disadvantaged students. Thank God for that. And it’s criminal to put them in even greater trouble for the rest of their lives, right? If people can not use the English language properly, why bother studying in the first place?

No doubt the students themselves would not waste their time getting confused and condescending to instead of being stretched, pushed and educated?

It is a disgrace that universities have mentioned gender equality laws as a reason not to mark students for poor writing skills. If it continues, no one will learn nuffink.

Here’s a loaded question: who spends all that money?

A Ferrari showroom in West London has two of its £ 375,000 supercars in its window – and both have sold stickers on their helmets.

The Ritz hotel’s dining room is virtually fully booked from now until January, while the new Nusr-Et restaurant in Knightsbridge makes a roaring trade in £ 600 steaks with all the gold-leafed accessories your conscience can swallow.

Someone out there overturns, but who?

Brooklyn is a silly sausage

Chef Escoffier said it should be simple above all else. But there are limits. And Brooklyn Beckham is trying to launch itself as an international gourmet sensation by making a bacon butty on TV is my line in sandwiches.

On The Today Show, the clueless Brooklyn showed millions of Americans how to make a snack with eggs, sausage and bacon: a delicacy in bread that he claims was learned from his great-grandmother.

Seeing this gracious but charisma-free, talentless stupid fool with a frying pan and then trying to pick up a fried egg with a pair of kitchen tongs was embarrassing, on its way to the tragic.

As a nation, our culinary reputation is already at the bottom of America, and Brooklyn’s secret tip about cutting a sausage in half ‘to get it to cook’ may not have helped.

Host Hoda Kotb tried to be encouraging. ‘Love it,’ she said as Brooklyn moped the grease on his scraper with a square paper towel. He is so gifted!

Career as a model and photographer has not worked for Brooklyn – how many more glamorous professions does he have to rattle through before giving up and getting a proper job?

Hankies ready. Sir Peter Bottomley says MPs find it ‘desperately difficult’ to survive on 82,000 pounds a year. Sob. The MP for Worthing West must soon retire, otherwise he would never have dared to say such a thing or endanger his majority. How out of touch can he be to complain about a week in which poor households in the UK lost a £ 20-a-week booster to their advantage. ‘It’s ugly,’ he said, but he was talking about MPs, not them. Bottomley believes MPs’ salaries should be brought in line with practicing salaries of around £ 110,000. He said it is a high pressure job that absorbs too much free time. The same can be said of police officers, firefighters, nurses and nurses – who earn a fraction of the salaries of MPs. Neither of them has an expense account either. Few people rightly believe that MPs give us value for money. And if they please want more, can I suggest that now is not the time to ask?

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