DJ Avicii’s latest diary entries revealed ahead of the new book Tim – The Official Biography: ‘The shedding of the soul is the last attachment’

The last heartbreaking diary entries made by the late DJ Avicii before his suicide in 2018 have been released ahead of an upcoming book about his life.

The numerous diary entries from the music lover’s rehabilitation and hospital stays provide an insight into the heartbreaking demons that the star fought against in his final years.

SEE ABOVE as The Royal Place in Stockholm mourns the late DJ Avicii

Avicii, born as Tim Bergling, died of suicide during a vacation in Muscat, Oman on April 20, 2018 – two years after stepping out of the limelight to fight his drug addiction. He was 28 years old.

Klas Bergling said the medication changed his son's behavior.
Klas Bergling said the medication changed his son’s behavior. Credit: Kevin Winter/Getty Images

The diary entries Tim wrote up until his death have been included in Måns Mosesson’s forthcoming book, Tim – Avicii’s official biography, which is expected to be released on January 18, 2022.

Måns received the personal contributions through Tim’s parents, Anki and Klas Bergling, and also interviewed family, friends, exes, peers and colleagues who worked with the deceased star.

Klas has previously told how Tim had to adapt to the DJ lifestyle by dressing up in clubs, something that did not suit his “reserved way”.

To cope with the attention and lifestyle, the star turned to drinking.

The diary entries document what happened after the DJ was admitted in 2012 after developing pancreatitis, which doctors linked to his excessive drinking habits and addiction to acne medication.

“I had a hard time accepting never to drink again, even though it was strongly recommended by all doctors to wait at least a year before I even got a beer,” Tim wrote in a diary.

Avicii struggled with fame, says DJ's father.
Avicii struggled with fame, says DJ’s father. Credit: Getty Images

“Of course I did not listen to the majority of the doctors, I listened to the couple who said it was ok if I was careful. I was ignorant and naive and toured the world, still on the endless tour – because once you’ve circled it once, guess what? You start right from the start.

“Those days in the hospital were the most anxiety and stress free days I can remember for the last 6 years, these were my true vacations, as depressing as it might sound.”

Tim was reportedly encouraged by rehab and hospital staff to practice keeping a diary, and later the DJ admitted he enjoyed it.

Avicii will perform at the Electric Daisy Carnival: London in 2013.
Avicii will perform at the Electric Daisy Carnival: London in 2013. Credit: Jeff Lombardo/Getty Images

But after his hospitalization, the DJ became addicted to prescription painkillers.

Three years later, Tim checked into a rehab center in Ibiza after a family intervention around this addiction.

Tim’s father previously spoke to the Sunday Times and told of the moment the family acted.

“It was one of the worst moments of my life because you really feel like you betrayed your son. But it had to be done,” Klas said.

During his stay, Tim wrote, “it had to be explained to me very logically and caveman-like in order for me to really understand its nature and how it hurt me”.

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‘There are too many current pains that are more urgent to deal with’

“Off, pain. Why my pain now? Uncomfortable feeling …

“Tim of the future deals with pain. The Tim of the future handles pain better than current Tim because there are already too many current pains that are more urgent to deal with,” he wrote.

Avicii's father Klas Bergling gives a speech live on stage during an Avicii tribute concert to raise awareness of mental health.
Avicii’s father Klas Bergling gives a speech live on stage during an Avicii tribute concert to raise awareness of mental health. Credit: Michael Campanella/Redferns

Later, Tim turned to meditation as a way to fight his demons.

In 2018, he focused on the work of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, whose practice involves reaching the deepest state of enlightenment to end suffering.

In his diary, Tim wrote: “It feels like I’m in a new standard state, which is very new and a bit scary. It felt like the fear of the last few days was causing chaos in me, but I remember the tip to focus on my breathing. “

While it was recommended for Tim to practice meditation for 20 minutes at a time, it was reported that Tim meditated for hours to reach the “enlightenment stage” faster.

To cope with the attention and lifestyle, the star turned to drinking.
To cope with the attention and lifestyle, the star turned to drinking. Credit: Rich Polk/Getty Images North America

While on the fateful holiday in Oman, a fellow traveler contacted Tim had met his father and expressed concern for his son’s welfare.

Reportedly, he was concerned about Avicii’s meditation habit, saying he cried, did not speak, refused to eat and sat out in the sun for hours.

It was the same traveler who later called Tim’s father again to pass on the news that his son had taken his own life.

The last messages from the troubled DJ included one that sounded heartbreaking: “The soul’s release is the last attachment before it restarts!”

If you need help in a crisis, call Lifeline on 13 11 14.

For more information on depression, contact Beyond Blue on 1300 224 636 or talk to your GP, local healthcare professional or someone you trust.

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